September 26th, 2011
On the 19th, we raised enough to pay the rent on Jani’s apartment, plus $585 in legal fees. We paid it one day before we would have had to go to court for the eviction hearing.
We paid the rent and legal fees that morning. In the afternoon, we turned in the “30 Day Intent to Vacate” notices for both apartments.
Once again, we are going to try to move back together into one apartment. Since our leases don’t expire until next May, our only option is to move to a two bedroom in the same complex we currently live in. We tried to do this before, back in February. It didn’t work because of Jani. Once we told her we were moving, she seemed fine, but her white blood cell count shot up (she gets weekly blood tests to monitor the clozapine). The risk with clozapine is decreasing WBC, not increasing. It got so high I was terrified she had cancer. She underwent a battery of tests but no physical cause could be determined for the rise in her white blood cell count. No infection could be located.
Then my credit got turned down (we have to reapply even though we have lived here for seven years). I could have gotten a guarantor, which would eliminate the need for my credit, but I didn’t. I let it go. Once Jani found out we weren’t moving, her WBC immediately dropped to normal levels.
The only conclusion the doctors can make is it was caused by stress. Stress can increase white blood cell count.
I don’t see any other option. I can’t depend on the kindness of strangers and friends forever. So our plan this time is to not tell Jani we are moving. Just do it. If all goes according to plan, she will go out with Susan on the morning of October 18th and come back to a new apartment. It is not change so much that she cannot deal with. It is the anticipation on change. We have learned the worst thing we can do is give her time to think about a future event because with a thought disorder (which schizophrenia is), time to think can be dangerous. Time to think is time to worry, to fear, to become terrified of things. So we feel the best option is to not tell her. She will deal with it better if it just happens before she has time to get nervous about it.
She is not violent with Bodhi anymore, so I don’t worry about that. I worry a bit because she still likes to leave to go to her apartment in the evening. She still wants her breaks from Bodhi. I hope she will be okay when that doesn’t happen.
It will be a two bedroom. Jani will have one room and Bodhi will have the other. Like we do now, Susan and I will alternate nights in each child’s room to try and minimize the impact.
I don’t want to wax poetic just yet as this is not a done deal. Not surprisingly, I need your help. Our move out date is October 18th, which means we pay pro-rated rent on the current two apartments until October. That works out to be about $780 each. I make $1000 a month teaching two classes (after SS and my benefits contribution are taken out), so that means I need $560 just to make the rent on the two apartments we are leaving. Then the new two bedroom is at least $1770 a month (possibly higher because we will have to give back our monthly discount “concession” from market rent). Prorate this for 13 days and you get about $742 and change. Then add $800 security deposit.
So to complete the move, we need about $2100 by October 15th. It’s a lot, I know, but if we don’t manage to raise it I don’t know what we will do. I am tired of nearly being evicted every month. I still won’t make enough to pay the rent on the two bedroom apartment but at least I will be a hell of a lot closer. I will also only be paying for one of everything instead of two like I have to now. If the move can be completed, it will save about $1000 a month in rent and utilities (currently we pay two sets of utilities).
We’ll see what happens.
If we make it, then I will be able to reflect back on two and half years of living apart. What I will say now is that your help supporting us in the two apartments achieved its goal. When Susan conceived of this idea of two apartments back in April 2009, we had two goals: To keep Jani with us and to allow Bodhi to grow up not fearing his sister.
Both of those goals have been achieved. Jani is still with us and Bodhi loves his big sister.
No matter what happens, I want to thank you from the bottom of my heart for that. You kept my family whole. That is a debt I will owe forever, but owe gladly.
My deepest thanks,
9/28/11 Update: I didn’t realize the end of the month was coming upon us so quickly. I don’t need the entire $2100 until about the 15th of October but I have to have enough (about $600) to pay the pro-rated rent on our current two apartments by October 3rd. If we go delinquent again, the complex will not allow us to proceed with the move and all this will be for nothing. We must remain current in order to move. I’ll keep you updated.
9/30/11 Update: Not feeling terribly confident right now. Still haven’t raised enough to make the total rent on the current two apartments through October 18th, let alone rent and deposit on the new apartment. If it looks like it is not going to happen, I will see about revoking the “30 Day intent to Vacate” by the 18th and seeing about November 1st. Of course, then we need the money to stay in the two apartments another month. I know you are trying. Just not sure it is going to happen.
10/2/11 Update: It’s not going to happen. Although we got a few donations, not enough to cover rent for existing apartments, Jani’s and Bodhi’s, for October until the “move out date,” let alone the deposit and pro-rated rent on a new two bedroom apartment we can all live in. Now once again the struggle will be to avoid eviction from either of the two apartments. Yes, I know a few of you have offered far more than you should, but I can’t let you go broke for our benefit.